Do you think that there will ever be a time in your life when you have to say these words?

It was gruesome but necessary.

This expression is apparently famous in an online computer game, World of Warcraft, but has now become a popular horrific response attributed to the main suspect in the recent killings in Oslo, Norway. As we all know, around 90 innocent victims have been killed majority of which included a great number of youth campers in what appears to be a “necessary” act according to the main suspect.

You could read the story here.

I then wonder: Would the victims who survived this ordeal and the bereaved families of those who died ever accept the justification that their near-deaths and deaths, respectively, were necessary just to drive home a point and deliver a message to the government?

At this point in time, where the acts of terrorism happened so close to home, I cannot just remain apathetic about this. As a father, I was really appalled at how young people were subjected to this kind of “gruesome but necessary” violence early on in their lives.

And the root of all this is: Fanaticism.

Fanaticism, according to Wikipedia, is:

a belief or behavior involving uncritical zeal, particularly for an extreme religious or political cause or in some cases sports, or with an obsessive enthusiasm for a pastime or hobby. According to Winston Churchill, “A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”

In his book Crazy Talk, Stupid Talk, Neil Postman states that “the key to all fanatical beliefs is that they are self-confirming….(some beliefs are) fanatical not because they are ‘false’, but because they are expressed in such a way that they can never be shown to be false.”

The behavior of a fan with overwhelming enthusiasm for a given subject is differentiated from the behavior of a fanatic by the fanatic’s violation of prevailing social norms. Though the fan’s behavior may be judged as odd or eccentric, it does not violate such norms. A fanatic differs from a crank, in that a crank is defined as a person who holds a position or opinion which is so far from the norm as to appear ludicrous and/or probably wrong, such as a belief in a Flat Earth. In contrast, the subject of the fanatic’s obsession may be “normal”, such as an interest in religion or politics, except that the scale of the person’s involvement, devotion, or obsession with the activity or cause is abnormal or disproportionate.

How strongly do we really feel about things that we believe in?

How far could we really go in pursuit of something that we feel passionately about?

What extremes are we capable of doing in the name of an idea?

Can You Justify Saying That “Yes, It Was Gruesome But Necessary?”

Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark! Thank you!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

One of the more fascinating tennis players to watch in the 1990s was American tennis sensation and heartthrob Andre Agassi. Who could forget that young, handsome, and energetic man sporting long locks and a tennis fashion sense that was anything but old-fashioned?

No wonder the brand Nike skyrocketed during his time. His image projected that of a tennis rebel (not wearing the traditional all-white tennis ensemble) and the youth just went gaga with it!

The admiration that he got from the public and the media was overwhelming earning him celebrity status especially with his endorsements but although he had his share of winnings, he craved to establish a stronghold in the world of tennis. He wanted to win some more.

I still remember that time when he had to find a new coach who also trained him to do a change of mindset or some mental toughness training. To make the long story short, slowly but surely, he eventually became unceasingly amazing as a tennis player, match after match after match. And the rest, as they say, is history.

What is fascinating to learn, however, after all these years, is how that one dinner conversation with his apparent prospective coach then, Brad Gilbert, dramatically gave Agassi a change of mindset and changed the way he played his tennis.

In a recent Newsweek article, The Science of Triumph, that supposedly dinner encounter with Gilbert went on like this:

Frustrated and rudderless, Agassi agreed to have dinner with a prospective new coach, a man whose tennis he didn’t much admire. Brad Gilbert was the anti-Agassi, a moderately talented junker who in his own career had eked out matches he had no right to win. His book about tactics, just published, was titled Winning Ugly. At dinner in Key Biscayne, Agassi wanted an honest assessment of his game. Why did he keep losing to less skilled players?

Gilbert excoriated him for trying to play with perfection. Instead of risking a killer shot on every point, why not keep the ball in play and give the other guy a chance to lose? “It’s all about your head, man,” Gilbert said, as Agassi recalls in his memoir, Open. “With your talent, if you’re fifty percent game-wise, but ninety-five percent head-wise, you’re going to win. But if you’re ninety-five percent game-wise and fifty percent head-wise, you’re going to lose, lose, lose.”

Further, in the same article, Timothy Gallwey, author of books about the mental side of tennis, golf, and other pursuits was quoted as saying: “One way of looking at it is that winners get in their own way less. They interfere with the raw expression of talent less. And to do that, first they win the war against fear, against doubt, against insecurity—which are no minor victories.”

In the field of business especially network marketing, what can you learn from Agassi’s change of mindset?

In making sure you’re on the winning side, does your choice of a coach or mentor really matter in how you play the game?

Have you conquered your war against your own fear, doubt, and insecurity?

Are You Now Ready For A
Change Of Mindset?

Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark! Thank you!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

I am so inspired by a book that I am currently reading.

Entitled, “Out of the Box for Life: Being Free Is Just A Choice” by Warren Berland, PH.D., it talks about how we could all get out of the prison walls that we ourselves set up.

Breaking free from the psychological problems that we have is what is needed in order for us to really move on with life.

In the chapter “Getting Out of the Box,” the author presented various stories of how certain people overcame their own boxed life. According to Berland,

“Any and all limiting beliefs are a sign of being in the box. When we experience these beliefs, we feel trapped in an image of ourselves as unworthy and unable to do anything about our situation. But in truth, we are simply looking at ourselves, as well as others, through a dark lens that colors everything we see, think, and feel. There is truly no way out of this difficulty until we realize what we are doing. Once we do, we can correct our mistaken perceptions and respond more appropriately to any situation.”

Powerless To Change.

I think this is the thing that really makes us live a life inside the box. But in an exercise that I will be sharing with you, you will realize that being in the box is a thing of the past if you only follow these steps:

Step 1: Recognize that you’re in the box.
The acknowledgment that we are really stuck, constricted, limited, and in pain is the first sign of moving on.

Step 2: Put the issue aside.
I agree with the author that it is very difficult to gain clarity and objectivity when we are in the middle of an upset. We should focus on the issue at hand by distancing ourselves from the problem. Taking a step back and see things from an outsider’s perspective.

Step 3: Ask and answer questions to get out of the box.
Here are the sample questions:

• If I were out of the box right now, what would I be experiencing?
• How would I be feeling?
• What would I be doing?
• What would I be thinking?

Step 4: Now that you are out of the box, look at the issue that was troubling you.
Can you see the difference? Simple. Objectivity.

Because only when we are outside looking in, literally out of the box, that we see things as they really are.

Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark! Thank you!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

March is International Women’s Month.

In honor of the women all over the world and especially to the two lovely ladies that have captured my heart, my wife, and daughter, I wish nothing but strength and power to live your dreams.

You have served as my inspiration and have empowered me in ways I cannot begin to describe. The same love goes out to my mother, an exceptional woman, without whom I wouldn’t be here reaping the benefits of a life well-lived.

Women.

They provide this whiff of fresh air that no man (sorry guys!) could really deliver. They have this infinite vulnerability, genteelness, and quiet demeanor that makes you want to rush forward, draw out your sword, and save these damsels in distress. On the other hand, you will also encounter assertive and strong feminists who may just end up saving you instead. In whatever form they may be, if you are bent on getting the attention of women, it takes more than just flowers and chocolates. Or, even good looks. (Unless you are Brad Pitt, perhaps).

Getting The Attention Of Women
Means You Gotta :

Look nice. Unless you really look like Brad Pitt, it would really help if you exert effort to look presentable. It’s a sure sign that you want to make her feel special just dressing up for her.

Stay pleasant. You don’t want to get her ire by antagonizing her. Smile. Be flowing with positive vibes.

Have spunk. You have to be bold, daring, and confident. A stand-out.

Have x-factor. There must be something about you that remains a mystery and something that she doesn’t quite put her finger into it, thus, making you more endearing.

Have extra-something special. Of course, this means you’re not like everyone else. As a prerequisite to being extraordinary, there must be something about you that makes you pop and shine.

Be interesting. You have to be witty enough to make her smile. A good sense of humor could go a long, long way. . .

Have something good to offer. You gotta help her out of a rut, like a knight in shining armor, offering aid and assistance whenever she calls for it.

Surprise her with something she doesn’t expect. You deviate from the usual and do crazy things sometimes. With her.

It’s not about you, it’s about her. Most men are conceited and would want to rant on and on about themselves. Remember, it’s about her and how you could make her feel special and wanted.

And guess what? How you get the attention of women is pretty much the same way how we should all treat our blog readers and followers. Our blogs should be a wooing.

So, do you have your readers’ attention? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark! Thank you!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

Everybody seems to be enamored with social media and what it offers – connections.

It is this same offering of connections that I feel will interest you into knowing more about yourself and the people that you meet in social media sites.

I recently took an online quiz about the four temperaments – choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic – as I was just curious to know what my temperaments are. I’ve been intrigued by a teacher friend of mine who uses this gauge to identify what kind of students he has and how he could make his classes more exciting as well as how he could find the best methods in disciplining a child in accordance with his temperaments! And he has around 30 students!

In my musings, I realized that we could more or less identify the people we are connecting with, either through social media sites or face-to-face, through their exhibitions of the different personality traits according to temperament.
The word “temperament” itself comes from Latin word “temperare,” which means “to mix.“

Sanguine Temperament

• Joyful/Cheerful
• Optimistic
• Passionate
• Outgoing/Attention-seeking
• Responsive to emotions
• Charismatic
• Compassionate
• Impractical/Dreamer
• Storyteller
• Childlike
• Memory for smells & colors
• Makes friends easily
• Doesn’t hold grudges
• Loves people
• Inattention
• Lack of concentration
• Disorganization
• Easily distracted
• Forgetful
• Impulsive
• Restless
• Very talkative
• Interrupts (Egotistical)
• Weak-willed
• Emotionally unstable
• Unpredictable
• Circumstantial

Choleric Temperament

• Self-sufficient
• Born leader
• Dynamic
• Practical
• Compulsive need for change
• Must correct wrongs
• Unemotional
• Strong-willed
• Independent
• Optimistic
• Not discouraged easily
• Confident
• Goal-oriented
• Knows the right answers
• Can see the whole picture
• Quickly moves to action
• Thrives on opposition
• Little need for friends
• Leads and organizes
• Excels in emergencies
• Delegates work
• Motivator
• Long-term thinker
• Hot-tempered
• Cruel
• Impetuous
• Impatient

Melancholic Temperament

• Sensitive to anguish of others
• Analytical
• Deep thinker
• Self-introspective
• Artistic or musical
• Self-sacrificing
• Poetic and philosophical
• Appreciates beauty
• Perfectionist with high standards
• Detail conscious
• Neat and tidy
• Organized
• Sees the problem
• Seeks creative solutions
• Must finish what is started
• Content to stay behind the scenes
• Likes charts, numbers, and lists
• Cautious to make friends
• Will listen to complaints
• Problem solver for others
• Moved to tears with compassion
• Tries not to raise attention
• Serious
• Conscientious
• Studious
• Reflective
• Not practical–Dreamer
• Self-centered
• Pessimistic
• Moody
• Revengeful
• Skeptical

Phlegmatic Temperament

• Calm and collected
• Quiet
• Witty
• Sympathetic
• Kind
• Inoffensive
• Hides emotions
• Reconciled to life
• Not in a hurry
• Takes the good with the bad
• Practical
• Dry sense of humor
• Mediator
• Avoids confrontation and conflict
• Cool under pressure
• Takes the easiest way
• Good listener
• Likes to watch people
• Compassionate and concerned
• Pleasant
• Good administrative ability
• Intuitive
• Dependable
• Efficient
• Slow and Lazy
• Teaser/Sarcastic
• Selfish
• Stubborn
• Indecisive
• Detached observer

It is believed that we have one dominant and one sub-dominant temperament. What temperaments can you best identify with? Now, try this out with your friends! What are their temperaments?

Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark! Thank you!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

I don’t know about you but I am greatly devastated by what’s happening in the world today.

Ominous. Like the end of the world is upon us.

What does the series of world events of late – the civil wars in Egypt, Libya, and other neighboring countries; and the natural disasters in New Zealand and Japan – tell us?

Is the end of the world near?

There are so many prophecies cropping up now trying to insinuate that these events are actually precursors of the worst that is yet to come. Could it be a series of trials that are given to us as a prerequisite to a greater deluge that is yet to happen?

Even at the magnitude of damage and destruction that we have seen, could this be still a minute thing compared to what is going to happen in the near future?

I know that in one way or another, we are all affected by what has happened in these countries. We could have family and friends living or working in these countries. And, who’s to say we’re that safe where we are right now? Maybe it’s not yet our turn.

We have to remember that one event happening even in the remotest part of the world has a corresponding effect, albeit not felt immediately, in all other parts of the world. It’s world-changing and world-altering. Take the case of the devastating aftermath of the Japan earthquake and tsunami: Google Earth has already showed satellite images that Japan’s coastline has shifted by 8 feet! If this has moved, where else in the world has?

As a family man, I could get so paranoid thinking about my family’s future at the spate of things happening all around us. Being far away from loved ones and not knowing where they are is the worst thing that could probably happen to me. That would be the end of the world for me. That’s why when I chose to be an empowered online entrepreneur, the main goal was to spend as much time with my family while still earning a living.

Spending Quality Time With My Loved Ones

Was My Ultimate Goal In Choosing To Be

In A Business Where I Am Now.

I do not claim to be a very religious man but the things happening around us just make me realize that there’s a greater power that has control over everything. Relying on human power is not enough. We need all the help we could get and we should probably be on our knees, heads bowed, and eyes closed – praying.

What Do You Think Of The Events

Happening In The World Today?

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To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

I have to admit that the world as we know it now is largely inhabited and powered by the youth.

Youthfulness is prized and sometimes we, er, mature ones have to take a backseat and see young people in its prime do amazing things right before our very eyes.

I need not even elucidate on what Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg has revolutionized in his twenties. And with that, I could just even rest my case.

I admit that I am no longer that young and if we take on the premise that success is reserved only for the young, then that pretty slims down my chances.

But I still do have dreams, wishes, plans,
and crazy ideas that
I want to do – Am I too late?

• Is the world closing down its doors on someone my age to try new things out and still succeed?
• Is the world not going to be receptive for older people starting something new later in life?
• Isn’t there a place, and space, for late bloomers?
  

I never thought of myself as a late bloomer but after reading Malcolm Gladwell’s “What The Dog Saw,” I found myself identifying with this state of mind, and being.

In a chapter entitled, Late Bloomers: Why Do We Equate Genius With Precocity, I was quite amazed by the story of former lawyer turned fiction writer Ben Fountain. He was a practicing lawyer when he suddenly abandoned the legal profession and just started writing. For 18 years, he sat on his kitchen table just writing fiction. Luckily, he was married to a very supportive wife, who happens to be a lawyer, too, and allowed him to do what he really wants to do in his life. Eventually, he had his new career breakthrough when he wrote a collection of short stories entitled, “Brief Encounters with Che Guevarra.” It eventually won the Hemingway Foundation/PEN Award. This breakthrough came when he was already 48 years old.

I have yet to read Ben Fountain’s award-winning story but his own story is really an inspiration.

Genius need not manifest early in life. More geniuses may still emerge later in life; a late bloomer.

So the next time an elderly person tells you that he or she wants to pursue something extraordinary, don’t dismiss it as something folly. It could just be the beginning of something great.

Know of any other Geniuses that were Late Bloomers?

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To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

When was the last time you greeted someone “Happy New Year!” or “A Prosperous New Year!” and actually mean it?

Besides doing the usual greeting to your family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues this coming New Year, really try to say it coming from the deepest recesses of your heart. Feel the power of your greeting and the other person could really feel your sincerity.

Thus, to end the year 2010 and to celebrate the New Year with a bang, I propose a most sincere toast to all of us:

May we continue to be beacons of light and instruments in the success of the people around us!
May we pursue our desires and persevere despite all the odds!

To A Year of Richness this Coming 2011,
A Very Prosperous New Year to All of You!

From the bottom of my heart, please accept this gift of prosperity.

Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark!

Thank you!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

I recently got an invitation to watch the American movie classic, Frank Capra’s “It’s A Wonderful Life” starring James Stewart and Donna Reed.

In a nutshell, it tells the story of George Bailey, a man with dreams of traveling the whole world and yet somehow got stuck in his hometown trying to help everyone and the string of events that eventually led to his attempt in ending his life. Enter Clarence in the picture, an angel that has no wings yet, and the only way he could grow his wings is if he successfully helps George Bailey appreciate the life he was given and his significant role in the lives of other people.

Let’s just say that the movie ended with Clarence getting his wings after all!

As is tradition in the US, this film is being shown every Christmas as a reminder about how we are all significant in the lives of others, no matter how small we think of ourselves or of our contribution might be. And as is ensconced in the movie itself, this tell-all summary of how we measure success in life is not measured by gold or the amount of money that you have, rather, by the number of friends that you have. No man is a failure if he has friends.

Unabashedly, I shed a tear or two while watching this film. I’m not sure if you agree with me on this, but I think that at some point in our lives we had that feeling of being worthless and irrelevant. We think that we are just a speck in the dust and hardly anyone notices us and we just go about our lives thinking that we just didn’t make a difference in this world.

This movie was a reminder that in the little things that we do, in the littlest help that we extend to our family, friends, and neighbors; a kindly advice we offer to a friend; extra money that we lend to someone in need; a donation that we give to charity; a visit to a hospital to a friend who is dying; a smile to everyone that you meet;

We Are Making A Difference. We Matter.

And when we are feeling down and out, well-worn, and tired – remember that God hears our deepest prayers and sends down an angel to guide us. Don’t look for wings as not all angels have wings yet!

Your Christmas angel could just be me. Or, you could just be mine.

Merry Christmas to one and all! Cheers!

Feel free to share my space and greet your loved ones here by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark! Thank you and have a Blessed Christmas!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck

I thought I’d take a break from work.

I have been so caught up with a lot of things these past few weeks that I sometimes feel that the life force is already sucked out of me and I am no longer whole.

You know what I did? I just had to step back a bit, pause, close my eyes, and take in the silence of the night.

The stillness was so daunting at first, used as I am with the tapping sound of the keyboards, the ringing of my phone, Skype, and other sounds blaring from everywhere. But the silence eventually became too loud and my breathing was so rugged that I had to immediately open my eyes.

Just goes to show that I have denied myself some silence and quiet moments lately. And this is when I chided myself to stop everything I was doing first and just breathe and take in the moment. In hindsight, if I were to go back to that moment anytime soon, I’d have to make sure I have some candle flickering! It would have been more meaningful.

And then it dawned on me, ‘tis the season of Advent.

As we all know, advent heralds the coming of Christmas, the most favorite time of the year. That is, at least, in the eyes of the child. As adults we have come to see the commercialism and consumerism that sometimes go with the holiday season that we turn a skeptical eye to it. We oftentimes lose sight of the essence or the real meaning behind what advent or Christmas is all about.

Advent is the season of anticipating.

For four Sundays, the Christian community lights the advent candles patiently and eagerly awaiting the birth of Jesus Christ. This, by itself, is a holy season. You will hear songs about yearning and of pining hopes on a Messiah that is yet to come. It’s also associated with advent recollections and reflections of times past. It’s about hoping.

I don’t know if you agree with me on this, but I think we should always have a moment of reflection and recollection.

• What have we achieved so far?
• What good have we done?
• Are we closer to our purpose?

And the only way to get into this spirit of consciousness is to really take a break from work.

Easier said than done, you say, what with all the bills to pay, gifts to buy especially this holiday, and all other material concerns that needs to be addressed. But, hey, we just might be forgetting about ourselves in the picture. We, too, have needs to be fulfilled and one is the nourishment of our soul and spirit.

Because in the end, what we are at work is because of what we are as individuals.

This advent, take time to take a break from work. Trust me, it’ll do wonders!

When was the last time you took a break from work?

Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share, retweet, or bookmark! Thank you!

To Your Success,

Elmar Sandyck